


Scuttlebutt

by Yavemiel



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Epistolary, F/M, Gen, screenplay style, the relationship between Cassian and Jyn is mostly just implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 02:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12807732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yavemiel/pseuds/Yavemiel
Summary: Welcome to the Rebellion's premier gossip blog, Scuttlebutt! This week's exclusive: JYN ERSO!





	Scuttlebutt

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a bit different to what I usually write, but the idea came to me and wouldn't leave me alone! I'd like to thank the absolutely incredibly talented skitzofreak for allowing me to play around with her style: this is very much in the stylistic vein of her work 'Message Traffic', which I highly recommend you read if you haven't done already, because it is spectacular! I'd also like to thank my amazingly wonderful beta, rapidashpatronus, who talked me out of my doubts regarding the story and also made her usual invaluable suggestions which improved it beyond recognition! <3 This was written for the Jyn Appreciation Squad over on tumblr, which I highly recommend you check out: https://jynappreciationsquad.tumblr.com

To: xylog5671  
From: jakyl8593  
Subject: Scuttlebutt is back baby!!1!  
Attached: 1 file (jyrso.unedited.mp7)

Hey man, I know we haven’t had a chance to do one of these in a while, but I got us a Scoop, that’s scoop with a capital S! Check it out, see what you think!  
Jas

_...file loading…file loading...file loaded…_

*Jas appears on screen, grinning widely*

JAS: What’s up Scuttlebutts! Today, welcome to a Scuttlebutt exclusive edition, an interview with a very special guest, a near mythical figure within the Rebellion, shrouded in mystery and mystique alike: please welcome...Jyn Erso!

*Jas holds his smile briefly for what is clearly meant to be a cut point, then moves off camera. In the background, a door opens, and incomprehensible speech can be heard. A split screen appears, one side showing Jas, the other Jyn as she lowers herself into a chair, glaring down the camera*

JYN: What do you want to know?

JAS (slightly flustered): Uh, let’s start simple I guess, why don’t you tell us your name?

JYN: Jyn Erso.

*brief pause*

JAS: Ah, okay, any middle names, nicknames...?

JYN (stops glaring at the camera, face goes expressionless): No.

JAS: Really? Not even from your boyf - *glances at Jyn’s face, moves on hurriedly* - ok, next question! What age are you?

JYN: 23

JAS: And not looking a day over 21! *laughs nervously. Jyn doesn’t laugh. An awkward silence follows* So, Jyn, where were you born?

JYN: In prison.

JAS *laughs again, then stops abruptly as Jyn stares stonily* Wait, for real? Ok, interesting, how did that happen?  
JYN (looking torn between suspicious and murderous): My mother was in prison on Vall’t due to Separatist activities. I was born shortly before she was released.

JAS: Wow, your mom was kick ass! *Jyn glares at him* Ok, let’s go for something else simple: what’s your favourite colour?

JYN (definitely looking suspicious now): What the hell is this, are you trying to establish a baseline or something?

JAS: (looking more and more nervous): Aha, yup, that’s definitely what we’re doing, yeah.

JYN (looking no less suspicious): Uh huh. So favourite colour?

*Jas nods frantically*

JYN (gaze goes unfocused for a moment, her face softening): I think probably brown. Like rich cocoa.

*Jas looks thrilled to have gotten a genuine answer. Jyn comes back to herself and her face goes stony again.*

JAS (looking slightly more confident): Okay, so, Jyn, rumour has it that you once broke into an Imperial compound using nothing but your truncheons and got out unscathed: can you talk about that for us?

JYN: Which time?

JAS: There was more than one? *coughs slightly* I mean, whichever one you feel most, uh, exemplifies your talents as an agent of the Rebellion.

JYN (thoughtfully): There was this one time, back when I was still with the Partisans...Saw had me in charge of an infiltration of the local Imperial garrison. We needed supplies, food, medicine, and the Imps had everything we could want and more. I was fifteen, but he knew I could do it. We studied the guard pattern, knew when we could slip in and out, it should have been a non-contact mission, but something went wrong...some of the ‘troopers came back earlier than we were expecting, and we had to fight our way out. Of course, you know about that sweet spot on a ‘troopers helmet where if you shoot it, it explodes, right?

*Jas nods enthusiastically*

JYN: Well, Tyron and Zwylxt were taking advantage of that, but my blaster jammed, so I only had my truncheons. I took out one of the troopers at the knee, compound fracture, then crushed his larynx as he fell so he died choking on his own blood, then caught the other one right behind the ear so his head exploded.

*Jas looks like he might throw up*

JYN (in a faraway voice): I can still taste the blood in my mouth…

*Jas retches slightly, and Jyn’s face shifts*

JAS: Um...yes, that sounds...very impressive, and I oh my Force what are you doing?

*Jyn pulls out a blaster and points it almost casually at Jas as he scrambles back from the table in panic*

JYN (quiet but threatening): My turn to ask the questions. *she smiles briefly and Jas shudders* Let’s start simple I guess, why don’t you tell me who you are?

JAS (panicked and slightly high-pitched): I told you, I told you, I’m with Intelligence, we’re just doing a, a, an update on personnel files, particularly those who whoa whoa whoa, hold on!

*he puts his hands up in supplication as Jyn slowly and clearly switches the blaster from ‘stun’ to ‘kill’*

JYN (leaning forward intently, her voice a little louder now): Seriously? You nearly threw up when I mentioned blood, no Intelligence agent would be that squeamish! *Jas whimpers indistinctly. Jyn ignores him and continues* And a place in a ‘trooper’s helmet that blows up? Give me a break, how stupid would that be? So I’m asking you again: who the fark are you?

JAS (high pitched and terrified): Okay, okay! Look, my name’s Jas Kylar, I run a blog called Scuttlebutt, it’s an internal blog, it’s just a bit of fun, we do profiles on people in the Rebellion, a bit of human interest, we just thought you’d be a really interesting subject and, um, can you let me go?

*Jyn looks like she’s considering using her blaster, but instead sits back and regards him in disgust. He lowers his hands warily*

JYN: A blog. Seriously. Don’t you have something better to be doing with your time? The Rebellion is scraping by, everyone’s stretched thin and you’re doing ‘personal profiles’? *she makes air quotes*

JAS (hotly): Listen, people are interested in this stuff, it’s good for morale! And it makes the leaders seem more real, more like people, instead of just goons ordering us all to our deaths.

*Silence as Jyn considers this*

JYN: Fine. But I’m not a leader. Why the hell are you doing this on me?

JAS (laughing slightly): Are you kidding? You’re one of the heroes of Scarif, everybody’s talking about you, you’re like a, such a mystery! Do you know what my views are going to be like?

*Jyn glares at him and he clears his throat nervously*

JAS: Um, so yeah...can I ask you more questions?

JYN (through gritted teeth): No.

JAS: Just one more, come on, like, look, are you dating anyone right now? Because rumour has it you and that intelligence guy Andor were seen getting pretty cosy around when they were having the Death Star celebrations and oooooooh farking sithspit what are you doing??

*Jyn lifts her blaster and, as Jas scrambles back from the table in a panic, shoots first one and then the other camera. Both screens go immediately to static*

*Jas reappears on screen in a different room*

JAS: So there we have it Scuttlebutts, an exclusive with the elusive Jyn Erso! And as for that last question, well, we might not have a verbal answer, but I think the lady doth protest with her blaster a tad too much...see you next time, only on...SCUTTLEBUTT!

_end file_

To: jakyl8593  
From: xylog5671  
Subject: Re: Scuttlebutt is back baby!!1!

Fark me, man, how do you even still have that if she shot out the cameras? You’re lucky she didn’t kill you, apparently she is like crazy aggressive, did you hear she took out Mecra in the line for the canteen??

To: xylog5671  
From: jakyl8593  
Subject: Re: re: Scuttlebutt is back baby!!1!

I’m smarter than that, had the whole thing streaming live back to my datapad in my room. My cameras are farking destroyed though. I’m thinking it doesn’t need much editing, I should be ready for upload in like 2 days?

P.S. I thought that story about Mecra was a rumour?

To: jakyl8593  
From: xylog5671  
Subject: I don’t know…

Are you sure about uploading this man? I kinda feel like she’ll find out about it, and if she does, she might actually shoot you.

P.S. Nah, man, Merca told me himself, she broke his arm.

To: xylog5671  
From: jakyl8593  
Subject: Don’t be such a scaredy tooka!

No way, she thought she destroyed the file when she shot out the cameras, she didn’t know about the stream back to my room. Plus, think about the views we’ll get! You know you want to…

P.S. Merca is full of shit, I know for a fact that he broke his arm falling out of his bunk when he was trying to impress Ladeen.

To: xylog5671; jakyl8593  
From: unknown  
Subject: First and final warning

Gentlemen,

A few points to note:

  * Recording rebellion staff without their permission is strictly forbidden, and carries a penalty of three months salary.
  * Disseminating that recording without their permission and/or knowledge is also strictly forbidden and carries a penalty of six months salary and two months in the brig.
  * You will find that all versions of this file have been deleted, and are irrecoverable.
  * You will also find that both of you have been placed on a restricted list with the quartermasters office, and will not be able to source more recording equipment without a written statement from your supervisor.
  * Any further attempt to contact Jyn Erso will result in severe penalties for both of you.
  * Mecla Klabot is, in fact, full of shit.



Do not come to my attention again.

Fulcrum.

**

Bodhi looked over Kay’s shoulder, his mouth moving as he read through the comm. “Fulcrum? Don’t you think that’s overkill?”

“No,” Kay said, punching the send button. “It is statistically likely that they will think this communication came from Cassian, and for some reason, lower level members of the Rebellion find him extremely intimidating. I suspect it is because they correctly assume that he could kill them without being caught.”

“Kay!”

“What? I am merely stating a fact. Cassian’s abilities when it comes to infiltration and assassination are impressive.”

“Yeah,” said Bodhi, shifting a little uncomfortably, “but I don’t think it’s something he’d really like us to be talking about.”

Kay tilted his head. “Upon analysis of Cassian’s previous reactions when the topic has been brought up, I surmise that you may be correct. I will not mention it again.”

Bodhi patted Kay’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Kay.”

“I know.”

“To Jyn too.”

“That is impossible,” Kay said snippily. “Jyn Erso and I are not friends.”

Bodhi laughed at him. “So you just spent an hour hacking into Private Kylar’s files and sending him a threatening email about releasing personal info about Jyn because...you’re not friends?”

Kay said nothing.

Bodhi patted his shoulder again. “It’s okay. I won’t tell Jyn you like her. Come on, it’s sabaac night. Want to go and pretend I can’t play again? Bet you I can win Cassian’s blaster back off Jyn.”

Kay scoffed. “I’ll take that bet. The odds are stacked significantly against you.”

He stalked off, and Bodhi trailed after him, still chuckling as he switched off the communication terminal. His comm beeped at him as he did, and he glanced down at it.

To: boroo8793  
From: unknown  
Subject: You are a good friend too

See above.

Fulcrum.

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it or would like to chat, I'd love to hear from you in the comments, or over on my own tumblr at yavemiel.tumblr.com! :) x


End file.
